Ramblings of An Average Life

 R.I.P Aunt Jean Dad’s oldest sister. She passed Thursday night (the 20th). I kind of knew it was coming when she fell and broke her leg pretty bad and the didn’t want to do surgery. She is the reason I was baptized. She was the only person in the neighborhood to have a telephone for my entire childhood. Our recipe for chop suey said “Aunt Jeans Chop Suey” on top. Every year me Jan and Dickie were up north for our birthday week, we had to go to aunt jeans during that week and she would make them liver and onions. It smelled disgusting and every time i smell it i think about her. I remember hanging out at her house in the evenings sometimes and I remember the old toys and books she had to play with. I remember “pretty my pretty white kitty”. I remember her dog, Peaches. She called me “Debbie” the last couple times i saw her when i still worked int he pharmacy. I learned from her obit that she was pulled out of school in the 8th grade to help with her younger siblings. I’m curious to...

     We have an appointment tomorrow with our money guy to get our taxes done and to catch up and go over our investments and what not. It really had me thinking about my dream for the future.      I’ve been talking about having a work/craft room forever, but we just don’t have anywhere to put it. I started thinking the other day about the upstairs. I know we always talk about using the upstairs as a B&B type rental, but let’s face it, I don’t see that happening. I see us getting it all fixed up and then only being used a couple times a year when we have a group of company. So I kind of decided on my own that when/if the kid ever moves out that I’m going to use the upstairs for my play room. We can figure out a spot that i can easily put my stuff away if we have company and we need the upstairs for sleeping quarters, but the upstairs is going to be my work lair. I have this dream that if/when they shut us down at work, I could make a living sewing ...

 I’ve had much on my mind this week, starting with the dream. I’ve had multiple dreams in the past involving deceased loved ones. They have always felt comforting and full of love, like they just stopped by to say “Hello” and check in. This week I had one that did NOT feel like that I was in what looked like Dads house, but a little different. I had a friend there. I never really saw her face, but I almost thought it was L. We were sitting in the living room when I heard a noice in the kitchen. It was a jingly clinky noise, like a bucket of coins. I called out, “Hello? Who’s in there?”  Dad’s face slowly peered out. It didn’t feel good, it felt threatening. I jumped back struggling to breathe. He slowly walked out from the kitchen, expressionless, and just stared at me. I tried calling out to him but I couldn’t breathe, so no voice would come out. I woke up gasping for air.  It was terrifying. I also got an unexpected message from an old friend. It has me really thinking ...

 I have been wanting to write for a while now. I started with a blog about homesteading life and that fulfilled me for a while, but then it didn’t. Then I started writing a non-fiction book, and that was going really well for a while. Then I decided to write that same story but in a different way, and that seems to be going better than the original version. I love words. My ADHD brain is always going a million miles per hour and writing stories in my head, sometimes without me even realizing it, so I thought I could easily just take them from my head and write them down. Turns out it isn’t just that easy. So while I was listening to an audio book at work, I thought I came up with a genius idea. I was listening to Michael J. Fox’s autobiography one day and loving how he handles Parkinson’s with a touch of humor, and it reminded me of my Dad when he was sick. I thought to myself, I should write a memoir about going through terminal cancer with a sense of humor. I thought the words wo...